At 1:42 a.m., a message appeared in a Snapchat group of 57 fraternity brothers at Cornell University.
We have now learned that a 20-year-old woman was heavily intoxicated at the frat house and, as the lawsuit alleges, unable to give consent. The message that went out to the group described her in crude, dehumanizing terms as sexually available.
“Shop still open?” one fraternity member asked.
“Yea,” came the cold reply.
What happened to that young woman is now the subject of a civil lawsuit and a reopened criminal investigation. Seven former fraternity members are accused of sexually assaulting her. They deny the allegations, and a court of law has not determined guilt. But America does not need to wait for a verdict before confronting the question raised by those messages.
What kind of young men are we raising and are we teaching them to have the courage to act when it matters?
I ask that question as the president of Colorado Christian University where every single day, staff alongside parents, share the enormous responsibility of educating young men and women and preparing them for the lives they will lead when they leave us. That responsibility extends beyond the qualifications they need to build a successful career.
These messages that have now emerged publicly reveal something disturbing beyond the allegations themselves: Men apparently saw what was being said, some joined the conversation, and in the exchanges were made public. Yet, there was no voice saying the words someone desperately needed to say: “Stop. This is wrong,” or even simply making an anonymous report.
That realization should terrify us.
Because we are ultimately left with two possibilities, and neither is acceptable. Either we are raising young men who, despite all their expensive education, are unable to distinguish something as fundamental as right from wrong, or they knew it was wrong and lacked the moral courage to stand against their own friends when doing so carried a personal cost.
America is remarkably good at preparing our young people to achieve their goals. We focus on grades, test scores, and college admissions to prepare young people for future careers and financial success. But is the same effort being put into shaping their character?
Character is seldom tested when choices are easy. The test comes when the person crossing the line is your friend, teammate, or frat brother, and speaking out may mean ridicule, rejection, or losing your place in the group.
A university rulebook can instruct a student what conduct is prohibited, and an online course can explain consent. Neither can produce courage at 1:42 a.m. when it is really needed. That must be developed long before the moment arrives.
Young men need to learn that strength brings responsibility, that women are not objects for male gratification, and that loyalty to friends does not require complicity in their wrongdoing. They need to understand that courage means standing alone and doing what is right may carry a personal cost.
I believe Christianity offers a radically different understanding of strength from the one that boys encounter today. Jesus did not present power as consent to dominate. Jesus upended the power structures of His day, showing that leadership is rooted in service and that strength is not used to dominate, but to protect and serve the vulnerable.
I often tell our young men that the world needs more moxie and less bravado. Bravado is loud. It wants to impress the room, dominate the conversation, and win the approval of the crowd. Moxie is different. It is moral courage. It is knowing what is right and having the backbone to do it, especially when no one else will.
The boys we educate today become the husbands our daughters marry, and the doctors, lawyers, pastors, professors, business leaders, and public officials of tomorrow. Their degrees will tell us what they know, and their resumes what they have achieved. Neither will tell us what they will do when doing the right thing carries a personal cost.
Somewhere in America today, a boy is learning what it means to be a man. If his family, church, school, and community don’t teach him what that means, his friends, social media channels, pornography sites, and online influencers will.
We fail our young men if we measure our success by the colleges they enter, the qualifications they earn, or the careers they build. We must invest more time and resources in forming moral character, at home, in our schools, our churches, and on college campuses. We need to prepare them for the situations in which that character will ultimately be tested. What do you do when a fraternity buddy crosses the line? What do you do when someone vulnerable needs protection? What do you do when speaking out may cost friendships, status, or your place in the group?
IN WAR ON BIBLE, PASTOR CONVICTED FOR PREACHING GOSPEL
Knowing right from wrong is not enough. We must teach young men how to act on that knowledge, to step in, to speak out, and, when necessary, to call for help.
We spend years preparing young men for exams and careers. We need to take the work of preparing them for the moments when their character will be tested just as seriously. Because when their “1:42 a.m. moment” comes, it’s too late to start teaching them courage.
Eric Hogue is president of Colorado Christian University.
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[ H/T Washington Examiner ]
