Erika Kirk Reflects On Grief As The One Year Mark Of Charlie Kirk’s Assassination Draws Near

Erika Kirk explained why simply getting “through the next 15 minutes” has been a critical step in getting through the first year since the tragic assassination of her husband Charlie Kirk.

Kirk, who took over leadership of Turning Point USA (TPUSA) following the fatal shooting of her 31-year-old husband at Utah Valley University on Sept. 10, 2025, penned a New York Times guest essay headlined, “What I’ve learned about grief,” that was published on Monday.

Kirk said the first 24 hours after her husband was assassinated felt “like a fever dream,” and she told second lady Usha Vance that she didn’t know how she would move forward. The wife of Vice President JD Vance then offered words that are now “seared into” Kirk’s heart.

“You know when you’re on an airplane with your kids, and you’re going to land in 15 minutes, but the kids are going crazy, screaming, throwing things, and then the plane lands, and the kids relax, and everything is fine again? That’s how it will be. Just get through the next 15 minutes,” Vance told Kirk, according to Kirk’s guest essay.

Kirk explained that things like seeing his toothbrush and towel in their shared bathroom were tough, but she constantly thought of Vance’s advice.

“I stood in the doorway of our bedroom. I turned on the light and walked toward his side of the bed. I stared at his pillow and wondered how long a person’s scent can last in sheets. I stood there in silence, replaying all of the completely ordinary mornings we woke up there together. I wasn’t ready to be there, so I turned off the light and crawled into bed with my 3-year-old daughter. Just get through the next 15 minutes,” Kirk wrote.

“For months, I avoided my bedroom. I told myself it was OK to confront the pain gradually and to sit with each memory as it came to me,” she continued. “The first Saturday without a love note from him passed. His 32nd birthday. My birthday. Thanksgiving. When I put the Christmas tree together wrong, it made me realize that being a widow means old traditions will need to make room for new ones. The wave crashes on me again and again. Every time, just get through the next 15 minutes.”

The CEO of the conservative nonprofit listed other family milestones that her beloved late husband had missed, and she eventually realized their young daughter was also “surviving her own little crashing waves.”

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For all the things that divide us, grief is a universal language and a defining part of the human experience. At some point, every one of us will love someone we have to say an earthly goodbye to.

I am still learning how to walk through each day carrying the grief I feel for my… pic.twitter.com/6hx6ZR1Tq5

— Erika Kirk (@MrsErikaKirk) September 7, 2026

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For all the things that divide us, grief is a universal language and a defining part of the human experience. At some point, every one of us will love someone we have to say an earthly goodbye to.

I am still learning how to walk through each day carrying the grief I feel for my Charlie. Some days I have a vague understanding of God’s plan, others I don’t, but I trust Him completely. He is my only strength. I also know grief can be lonely, and sometimes hearing someone else put words to it makes us feel a little less alone.

I wrote this for anyone who has lost someone they love, anyone sitting in grief now, and anyone who someday will.

Suffering does not get the final word.

Only God does.

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A beautifully moving piece from Erika Kirk, as the country prepares to mark one year since Charlie Kirk was horrifically taken from us by an assassin’s bullet. Erika has shown so much grace and strength over the past year, setting an example for countless others experiencing…

— Rep Andy Biggs (@RepAndyBiggsAZ) September 7, 2026

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True faith means accepting that we won’t get every answer and finding peace in that.

I have seen extraordinary good born out of something unimaginably evil. I have watched people return to faith in droves, reconcile with their families and forgive old wounds because of Charlie. I know my husband is in heaven, but I ache for him to be here. Still, I can stand and say without a shadow of a doubt that God is good.

The wave still comes, but it’s different now. A year ago, when I felt it coming over me, I wondered whether it would swallow me completely. Now, I recognize it; sometimes I even welcome it, because for a moment the grief makes Charlie feel impossibly close.

Grief is universal. It doesn’t care whom you voted for, where you come from or what you believe. Those who have walked through grief know that the waves never completely disappear; they aren’t supposed to. I am learning that grieving Charlie and living life at the same time are part of the rhythm of grief. I can miss him with every part of me and still laugh with our children. I can have a broken heart and still experience joy.

If you are living through grief, I won’t tell you what to feel or that tomorrow will be better than today. I will tell you what a dear friend told me: Just get through the next 15 minutes.

One day, maybe when you least expect it, you’ll start to see that those 15 minutes hold more than just grief. The grief is there, always, but so is the beautiful gift of life.

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